The Last Exorcism Part 2

The Last Exorcism was a surprise late summer hit in 2010. A found footage exorcism movie directed by Daniel Stamm and produced by Eli Roth was really creepy and touched on some very mature subjects like incest and rape in a PG-13 rated film. Now we have part 2? So is it part 2 of Nell's last exorcism? Why is there a sequel to something we have been told that is the last one? I mean Friday the 13th did but- oh fuck it The titles confusing I know!
The film picks up where the last one left off with everyone being killed at the end of the first movie (if you didn't see the first movie don't worry they have a flash back at the start of the film) Cotton Marcus gets engulfed in flames and his film crew are hacked to pieces by this satanic cult.
Nell (Ashley Bell) wakes up dazed and confused in some suburban family's house and is transferred to an all girls house in New Orleans.
I do like the concept this film has, formerly possessed girl trying to recovery and re-enter society has a normal human being. I just wish it was done with more care. Director Ed Gass-Donnelly decided to direct this film with steady cam and as we all know *cough Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows cough* found footage to conventional film making doesn't translate well. This movie proves if not, blatantly beats us over the head with a pipe that this theory is still true. Ashley Bell is amazing no question about it. She plays the role with a look of innocence as we watch her progress and see her convey fear as she did the previous film which was fantastic. 
The scares in this movie are mostly jump scares. Jump-a-thon 2013 as I call it, cause there is nothing scary about this movie other then the jump scares which consist of loud noises and sudden cuts to a certain character.
Nell starts to have memories of her former past as she finds people watching her in Mardi Gras masks. Then the girls at the house put on a YouTube video of the footage from the previous movie. Who put that on the web? Did someone recover the footage? Who? that question is never answered sadly.
So Nell is convinced that the demon Abalam is back due to the cliché oh, a man died in front of me for no reason, her attitude changes and the boy she rejected at work decides to commit suicide. 
The big reveal is one of the worst I have ever seen, (Spoiler Ahead) I could not believe my fucking eyes when the twist came. The demon is in love with her. THE FUCKING DEMON IS IN LOVE WITH HER?!? Listen, I can take demon rape as I saw in Paranormal Entity, I can take demon attachment but I draw the fucking line at demon love. 
Upon revealing this Nell agrees to part take in an exorcism with a stranger she just met that's part of this other cult called the Order of the Right Hand. They try and fail which results in the most boring exorcism since The Rite. Hell, even the fucking Devil Inside had more interesting shit in it. So the people doing the exorcism just go well fuck it, lets kill her, which I must say is kinda funny. Nell then gets told she was born a tiger by the demon Abalam and goes and murders everyone making tiger noises and grunts...a possessed chick making tiger noises? HUH!?!?!?!
Now, the final scene where possessed Nell magically learns to drive a vehicle and morphs fire just by looking at things is so cheaply done, YOU HAVE SEEN BETTER FIRE in Nintendo 64 games then the CGI fire in this film. It felt like a rough cut, that's how bad it is.
All the kills are off screen to achieve the PG-13 rating and and and you know what FUCK THIS MOVIE

  this movie out 5

Box Office Report: 42 Fucks Were Not Given About Scary Movie 5

This weekend we had five new releases hitting theaters a baseball movie, a dumb comedy, and two limited release films.
42, the baseball film, opened with a surprising $27 million making it the biggest baseball movie opening ever beating out last years Moneyball which made $19 million on its opening weekend. In second we have the film that has sunk so low I am surprised some people even went and saw it. Scary Movie 5 only made $15 million. The lowest in the franchises history, in fact, Scary Movie 4 released in 2006 made $40 million in its opening weekend. Hopefully the Weinstein's get the point that building your movie around a cracked out dude who claims to have tiger blood and everyone's favorite red headed train wreck Lindsay Lohan doesn't work.
Nothing beats horror like animated kids movies as Fox's The Croods comes in #3 with $13 million and G.I. Joe: Retaliation keeps the forth spot with $10 million. Our beloved Evil Dead (Review Here) dropped down to 5th with $9 million making its total gross so far $41.500.00.

Next week Universal will throw everything they got with Tom Cruise in Oblivion opening up in a record 3,8000 theaters which is the biggest release of any Universal Studios movie. We also have Rob Zombie's return to the big screen with his latest film The Lords of Salem opening in limited release with only 300 theaters. And Filly Brown in just 175 theaters (What the fuck is Filly Brown?)

Top Box Office 
1. 42                             $27.250.000
2. Scary Move 5           $15.153.000
3. The Croods               $13.200.000
4. G.I. Joe Retaliation  $10.800.000
5. Evil Dead                 $9.500.000

Source: Box Office Mojo 

Evil Dead (2013)

The new Evil Dead is nothing short of amazing and is every bit a modern horror masterpiece as it is an intense thrill ride.
Evil Dead starts out with a back story of the book of the dead which is very riveting from the get go. The back story plays more like an appetizer for what is to come. The main story starts and you see five friends going to a cabin. David (Shiloh Fernandez) returns with his new girlfriend Natalie (Elizabeth Blackmore) after running away from his family and starting a new life while his sister Mia (Jane Levy) gets addicted to what seems like Chrystal Meth. David finds out his sister Mia almost died due to an over does and is conflicted with what his friends Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci) and the registered nurse Olivia (Jessica Lucas) are doing to get Mia cleaned up.
There are some logic issues with the films, like when Eric and David find dead cats in the basement and they don't leave the cabin. Or when David finds his dog dead. Thank you Fede Alvarez for killing the dog, he doesn't pull any shit like oh the dog saves the day no, no, NO! Also Eric finds the book of the dead or the Necronomicon-Ex Mortis all barbed wired and wrapped in a garbage bag. So what does he do? He opens it, studies it and says those words even though the markings on the pages say in big red scratch marks "Don't say these words!" or "He is always watching." but proceeds to say those words anyways which releases the demons. There are also some spotty dialogue here and there but you can over look that. 
Levy knocks it out of the park playing the girl going through withdrawals. She Screams swears and cries with agony while begging to get out of the cabin. Finally she feels as if everyone is against her and makes an escape. I could feel a connection with Mia because I have felt those feelings personally in my life that  Levy
conveys.
After Mia escapes she crashes and an iconic scene takes place which is gloriously done. When Mia is brought back and starts telling her friends what she saw no one believes her until shit hits the fans.
When shit hits the fan, the movie just straps you in like a roller coaster and keeps going.
When you hear Mia get possessed, scream and say "You're all going to die tonight." The hair on your arms will stand up, you will get butterflies in your stomach and you will anxiously await what this film throws at you.
The only problem is that they flash to a page in the book which shows an illustration of what is going to happen to a certain individual. This is not a major problem because they do enhance the action or throw in their own twist but the surprise of it gets lost in the translation.
As the film progresses it gets very intense arms get cut off, needles in eyes, my favorite is the meat cutter one where you hear possessed Mia "Don't do it, you little bitch! Don't cut it off!" and well you can imagine what happens next.
The intensity that this film creates is unmatched to anything I have seen in the past decade. My mouth was on the floor while I saw some of the most violent and graphic scenes ever put to an R rating (18A Canada). I have seen less violent NC-17 films.
The final act of the film is extremely intense, the whole screen is painted in blood and there's a final scene with a chainsaw that makes all the The Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies look tame and lame in comparison.
Evil Dead is a great remake, it delivers on what it shows in the trailers. It's not "The Most Terrifying Film You Will Ever Experience" as the poster displays nor is it the scariest one, but it is one of the most intense films I have seen in the last 10 years. The complaints that this movie isn't funny is bullshit. This is NOT Evil Dead II,  This is NOT Army of Darkness. This is a whole new experience for a new generation of Evil Dead fans and die hard fans will be pleased on Fede Alvarez take on a classic film.

4.5 out of 5